Aidan, Alpine climbing, and Sending The Shield

The past two months have unequivocally been the most turbulent and trying times of my life. I hope that they will also be the worst months that my remaining family members and I will have to go through, because although potential for great tragedy will always exist, nothing will ever trump the pain and grief felt after my younger brother Aidan Silitch died this March in a ski-mountaineering accident in Chamonix, France (obituary here).

While the main goal of this post is obviously to highlight the wonderful, albeit, much too short life Aidan lived, this tragedy is for me inextricably linked to several other significant events in my life which I feel I also must address in order for people to fully contextualize and understand everything. 

The Beginning, Winter in the Canadian Rockies, Aidan's Death, and Quitting Alpine Climbing 

Through hearing the stories and seeing the pictures of a close family friend, Jack Rodat, ice and mixed climbing out in Colorado (and also the Central Alaska Range), I was strangely and uniquely exposed to the world of alpinism during my early teenage years. It wasn't however until a bit later when I distinctly remember stumbling upon Jonathan Griffith's video on the Cassin Ridge of Denali and for whatever reason I instantly became completely taken with alpine climbing.

Everything that I did from then on was never enough and I became neurotic, self absorbed and also incredibly anxious trying to learn as quickly as possible the seemingly endless and overwhelming amount of skills + experiences that are required to "safely" alpine climb at even the most rudimentary of levels (these feelings were further exacerbated by being from and going to college in the northeast where access to the closest glacier is over 2,000 miles away). Eventually, I elected to enroll at the University of Calgary for the spring semester of my Junior year instead of doing the stereotypical semester abroad in Europe getting "cultured". This turned out to be a pretty wise choice with respect to alpine climbing as I truthfully cannot think of a better venue (maybe Chamonix?) for quick access to winter climbing areas/incredibly reliable ice and mixed climbing conditions... suffice it to say I was able to get out A LOT.

After spending a few weeks in Calgary however, it quickly became apparent that I was not in the right headspace and was still pretty affected by some ongoing events which were still carrying over from my previous semester at Bowdoin. Every weekend I would go out climbing regardless of what the temperature was, and only haphazardly paying attention to the avalanche conditions. Each week when I would get back to Calgary from the mountains, the reality of my situation would end up sinking in fully and I felt more alone than ever before in a big university where I didn't know any one. Eventually I slipped into what I now clearly recognize as a depressive state and the only way that I felt I could escape the intense feelings of sadness which I was having was to climb harder and more dangerous routes and push myself so that I could start to feel other emotions again (such as fear and adrenaline...).

Without dragging things too far into the weeds and also in an effort to bring things back to Aidan, I want to highlight the fact that almost every single night during the weeks where I was alone in my dorm room in Calgary, Aidan (who was in his Junior year of high school and also 2 hours ahead time zone wise) would stay up talking on the phone with me until midnight Calgary time just talking and trying to comfort me until I finally would often have to tell him that I had to go to sleep. Just another small instance of the seemingly infinite, which showcase Aidan's kindness and compassion when things really mattered.

Despite the incredible selflessness from my brother during this time, I was still skipping almost all of my classes during the week to go climbing (which wasn't a problem academically per se since all the courses were transferred back to Bowdoin as pass/fail...) but it began to become harder to find partners to go out with on any random weekday and that is when I began to start soloing more and more. Obviously free soloing has become all the rage in recent years even making it big in mainstream media, and while it can be somewhat of a contentious topic in certain circles that is not what this post is meant to be about....

After gaining confidence soloing Cascade Falls and Professor Falls (two of the classic moderate multi-pitch ice routes in the Banff area) I began to feel like soloing was one of the only activities I could do to truly escape from everything, and I wanted to keep pushing myself. Earlier on in the season I had climbed the first 4 pitches of a mixed route called Cryophobia in the Ghost Valley (only about 90 km's northwest of downtown Calgary). Immediately adjacent to Cryophobia lies the route Hydrophobia, a 150 meter tall WI5+ ice fall. Since I already had the approach dialed from the Waiparous Valley, I decided that Hydrophobia would be my next (and possibly last) big solo.

As I was clearing the final bulge guarding access to the mellower ice above and signifying the end of the technical difficulties, a microwave size piece of ice dinner plated out on top of me as I was swinging my right ice tool into the ice above. Both my right tool and right crampon skirted out from the ice and instinctually I immediately engaged every single muscle in my core to prevent the unnerving sensation of barn-dooring completely out into the abyss and falling. Immediately after regaining control I made it to the anchor, rapped down, did the several hour hike out back to the car in silence, and immediately drove back to Calgary where I then decided that I was going to leave Canada and see a therapist closer to home.     

Pictures from the Canadian Rockies (I did not take a single photo from the day I soloed Hydrophobia or Cascade Falls)

Hydrophobia (the main flow on left) and Cryophobia (the thin dagger on right) in the Ghost Valley (Canadian Rockies, AB)

Owen leading the 2nd pitch of Cryophobia (photo courtesy of Adam K Bidwell)

~ 40 cm wind slab avalanche triggered while skiing down Miners Gulley, a prominent couloir visible from town. Only one of several "sketchy" and reckless events which happened during my time in Canada (Canmore, AB) 

Rope soloing the final pitch of Professor Falls during a very cold (-30's °C) February day (Banff, AB).

Self portrait on top of the final pitch of Professor Falls. I had actually free soloed the entire route but after the last pitch I wanted to test out some rope solo techniques for some bigger objectives and so I ended up rapping down, rope soloing up the pitch, rapping down again and then doing one more top rope solo lap for fitness. Afterwards, during the drive back to Calgary, I decided that I was going to solo Hydrophobia (not rope solo since I didn't want to deal with all the systems and felt that it interrupted the "flow".... whatever that means).       

By the time I eventually made it back home, it was already almost the second week of March and Aidan, Kyra and my parents were getting ready to head to Chamonix and go skiing for two weeks during spring break. I had the option to go with them but after my experience(s) in Canada, Chamonix was one of the last places where I thought I should be. Additionally, I had felt like I was making substantial progress by regularly talking to a therapist and wanted to keep this practice up, so I ended up asking my mom to stay home with me so I wasn't alone. A little less than a week later and the day after my 22nd birthday (March 20th), Aidan slipped on a piece of serac ice which was lightly covered by a few centimeters of snow (and which had a set of ski tracks on it from previous descents earlier in the morning), and ultimately fell 500 meters to his death down the north face of the Aguille du Tacul.

Soon after Aidan's death, the accident on Howse Peak (a mountain which I had driven by almost every weekend while I was in Calgary) occurred which claimed the lives of David Lama, Jess Roskelley, and Hansjorg Auer. While I totally acknowledge the argument which some have pointed out to me that quitting alpine climbing but continuing to do activities such as hard aid routes on big walls is an arbitrary "grey line in the sand", to me personally I just cannot justify the random risk which accompanies being either unroped in alpine environments (as is the case when you are steep skiing or soloing obviously) or even just climbing big alpine faces which are threatened by ice fall and seracs. I definitely don't judge any of my friends who continue to alpine climb/ski serious objectives, however after this winter and spring I've just realized that I personally don't have the heart for it anymore and am stopping indefinitely.     

Aidan's ticklist which he wrote down before he actually started climbing when he was 12 years old. For the remainder of his life he was super motivated towards completing all of them (and was actually pretty on track to do so!)

With the exception of the calorie limit and the 7 hours of TV per week, Aidan diligently stuck to these rules for the remaining 5 years of his life.  

Yosemite, YOSAR, and sending The Shield

After having the unfortunate experience of having to personally deal with the PGHM in Chamonix, I realized later that one of the only things which immediately seemed like it would provide any sort of meaning in my life moving forward would be to get involved with Search and Rescue and try and save people as well as serve as a resource to other families who unfortunately but inevitably will go through similar types of circumstance.

As it happens, before Aidan's accident I had already planned a trip to Yosemite with my good friend William Skea who I had climbed a lot with in Canada. Afterwards however, I wasn't sure if going on the trip would be a good idea or not but eventually ended up going with the rationalization that at the very least it would be nice to reconnect with close friends in a beautiful place, and also hopefully I would be able to also get my foot in the door with YOSAR and get more information about what it is actually like working there which I did (Thank you Nick and everyone else on SAR who was so nice and welcoming to me during my last couple of days in The Valley).

We also did some climbing of course which is documented through the photos below, but to me what I will always remember about The Shield (and my first time up El Cap) was having an incredible adventure with good friends, which ultimately I think is the only thing that matters. Enjoy:  

Michael Houghton racking up at the bridge

"The Big Rock"

Michael Houghton leading one of the initial pitches of Magic Mushroom, the Shield headwall looms above (way, way above...)

Stoked to be climbing on the captain! Side note: fingerless gloves are the stupidest gimmick ever... after the first day of wearing them I switched to a pair of full fingered gardening gloves for the rest of the route and my fingertips were much happier :)

Looking up at the third pitch of Magic Mushroom. While leading this pitch, I got a little too excited/was moving too quickly and blew a .1 X4 placement (such a terrible cam btw) which resulted in a 20 foot fall head first down the slab. I was ultimately caught by a fixed stopper which was totally mank, but it was pretty cool in hindsight to have taken a decent whip during my first trip up El Cap.

Michael lowering out while following the crazy pendulum of Pitch 4 on Magic Mushroom. Our initial goal was just to climb any hard aid route (C3 or above) on El Cap and originally we had decided on Magic Mushroom. Our plan was then for Michael and I to climb the first ten pitches up to Mammoth Terraces over the course of two days while Will hauled all of the food, water, and bivy gear up using the heart ledges fixed lines. As we were spending a rest day in El Cap meadow however an older man who we were talking to strongly recommended that we climb The Shield over Magic Mushroom saying it was "the most exposed route on El Cap" which pretty easily convinced us all to switch objectives at the top of Mammoth Terraces.    

Our first bivy on the wall on top of Mammoth Terraces

The haul bag train tied off at Pharaoh ledge. Notice the poop bucket lid is still attached (somewhere on one of the headwall pitches the wind blew the lid right off and even with the tape job we did to cover it, the wonderful smells permeated the air around us for the rest of the way up)

Will or Michael leading a few pitches below Gray Ledges

The Cathedrals in late afternoon light

Michael and Will chilling out at Gray ledges. You can see Will has his camera in his hand (some foreshadowing here... stay tuned)

Will fixing one more pitch before we called it for the day.

Brad Gobright working the infamous "silverfish corner" pitch (5.13c) days before his in-a-day free ascent of the Muir Wall (if you're reading this, congrats on the send man!)

Will leading the Shield Roof

Owen jugging up after lowering out under the Shield Roof (photo courtesy of Michael Houghton) 

Definitely the most exposed jugging I have ever done!

Michael about to take a deuce. Oh the joys of being in such close proximity to one another for extended periods of time! Also, that's where we bivied the night before.... insanely exposed!

Will beginning the triple cracks! Right after this picture was taken he took a whipper when a fixed head broke and he ended up falling slightly below the belayer. Can't imagine a more exposed but also perfectly safe (the headwall is completely overhanging...) place to take a 30+ foot whip! 

Will higher up on the triple cracks

Owen looking like a dork but it was windy up there!

Looking down from halfway up the headwall

"The most exposed place on earth" or pretty darn close to it

That unsettling feeling of being thousands of feet up off the deck, with darkness quickly approaching, the leader still not even half way done leading the pitch, and not knowing where you are going to bivy for the night (Michael Houghton photo) 

Will brewing breakfast on Quixote ledge

Where we slept the night before

Will leading the last hard C2+ pitch

Jugging up to the final anchor

The summit tree visible!

Our final bivy on Chieftain Ledge (pitch 27). We had fixed the route to the top by this point but figured we'd haul everything up in the morning

Will jugging up the final summit slabs. Minutes later those same slabs would claim the life of Will's daypack containing not only his singular set of car keys but also his $10,000 dollar DSLR camera (watch video below for more details...)

Another weird self portrait... but this time on the summit of El Cap!

Hiking down. For me the descent ended up being the most emotional part of the entire trip as we were covering much of the same ground which Aidan and I had done almost 3 years prior during a quick 2 day trip to Yosemite with our mom.

Aidan and Owen at the top of El Cap after hiking the upper Yosemite falls trail without any water (~16 miles roundtrip) on a very hot summer day (June circa 2016)

Owen chilling out in the creek before completing the East Ledges descent (Michael Houghton photo) 

William Skea, Owen Silitch, and Michael Houghton back at the "car park" after successfully getting down from 5 continuous days on The Shield! 8 days total including the start of fixing/pre-hauling to mammoth terrace and getting to the top (Michael Houghton photo)

Snapshots from Aidan's Remarkable Life

Aidan Cameron Silitch, born March 10th, 2002

Silitch kids circa early 2000's

Aidan and Regina Silitch at Aidan's 4th birthday party with the "animal man". The animal man had a tarantula which he had placed on several other kids t-shirts. Before he got to Aidan however, without anyone noticing Aidan had quietly taken off his shirt so the spider couldn't walk all over him (such a brilliant young mind...)!  

The beginning of Aidan's sweet tooth and one of his first trips to Kimball Farms (Jaffery, NH circa 2008)

Aidan and his friend Florence at a local summer fair (Dublin, NH)

One of the first prototypes of what have now become our next door neighbor Carol Lane's famous ice cream birthday cakes

Another Carol Lane masterpiece for Owen's 17th Birthday (Aidan Silitch and Josh Lane left and right respectively)

The Silitch clan spending the day skiing on "the Italian side" of Mont Blanc. Left to right Nick, Owen, Aidan, Kyra, Regina (Courmayeur, Italy March circa 2017)

Aidan, his friend Jordan, and Nick and Regina Silitch at the top of the Grands Montets lift (Argentiere, France)

Aidan, Kyra, and Owen at Kyra's graduation from Bowdoin College (Brunswick, ME)

Aidan on a summer service trip organized through his high school to South Africa (Botswana, SA Summer circa 2017)

Silitch kids at a fancy après ski dinner (Colorado March circa 2018)

Aidan exiting the water after handily winning the mile long race across Dublin lake (Dublin, NH)

Another blissful summer day (Dublin, NH)

Aidan and Owen hanging out on the predator ledge during a very humid midsummer day. Despite the 90+ degree temps and 100% humidity, Aidan one hung Predator 5 times during his first session on the route (Rumney, NH July circa 2018)

Aidan and his climbing buddy Elena Kasantsidis goofing around (Berkeley, CA)

Aidan and his main coach Emily Varisco at the Aqua Rock Deep Water Solo Comp (U.S. National Whitewater Center Charlotte, NC) 

Despite Aidan's incredible drive for climbing and training... school work always came first!

Aidan cheesing at a climbing comp

Aidan and Owen comforting Finn (the dog) in the bathroom during a thunderstorm 

Aidan with his climbing coaches at another comp (left to right: Brooke Weil, Emily Varisco, Taylor Nystrom, and Abby Fried) 

Halloween... Aidan with friends and fellow Viking team members (The Cliffs, LIC)

Action shot at a bouldering comp (The Cliffs, LIC)

Aidan, totally in his element

Aidan loved to heal hook everything ("Heel hook for dramatic effect"...)

Fall circa 2018

The whole family together on a late autumn hike

The annual cousin pre-thanksgiving dinner soccer game. Aidan and Owen are the only two dorks wearing the bright orange head bands (Dublin, NH circa 2018)

Aidan monkeying around at Smith Rock State Park the day before Bouldering Nationals (Bend, OR Winter circa 2019)

Aidan beside the route "Chain Reaction" which he sent the previous summer (Bend, OR Winter circa 2019) 

A poor quality video of a video of Aidan at Bouldering Nationals

Aidan and Kyra Silitch at dinner with cousin Nate Clurman before Nate and his Notre Dame teammate's hockey game against the University of Wisconsin... Notre Dame won! (Chicago, IL Winter circa 2019)

While unfortunately Aidan did not get the chance to spend much time climbing outside, by the end of his life he had flashed numerous hard 5.12's including the famous "Chain Reaction" in Smith Rock State Park, Bend, OR. Additionally he was an incredibly talented competition climber with numerous indoor ascents up to V11 and 5.13+. He competed in USA Climbing's bouldering nationals this past winter in Bend, OR where he topped out the 4th (and hardest) boulder problem, and this spring he was training extremely hard for sport climbing season where he had serious ambitions of finishing top three at nationals.  

With the help of Aidan's climbing coaches and The Cliffs Climbing + Fitness, we have set up a foundation in Aidan's name called the "Team Aidan Foundation". The goal of the foundation will be to fund selected kids who have exhibited motivation/dedication towards competitive climbing, the chance to grow without the burden of financial difficulties in the sport that Aidan loved so much. More information on the foundation and the link to the gofundme site set up by Aidan's coach Taylor Nystrom can be found here. We would all greatly appreciate any donations and/or just spreading the word about the Team Aidan Foundation.

The Team Aidan Foundation Logo